cornucopia

I haven't felt - surprisingly - inspired to write this week. While this has not been a week of food, so to speak, it has been a week of abundance in many other things... I jammed last Tuesday night and attended a gig of Scientific Remedies on Thursday that was quite good, and I've been flooded at work with scheduling the annual meetings we hold with California's Metropolitan Planning Organizations (MPOs). If you really want to know what those are, which I highly doubt. But I have six of them to keep me good and busy.

Mom's death certificates finally hit my estate attorney's office, and the process of getting her estate set up and things rolling - so it can get through probate before the end of summer - are underway. I will need to schedule some time to go to Iowa, clean out my house, and put it on the market. That means summoning an estate sales firm - to appraise what's in there, and make an offer on the stuff that I don't want (which is nearly all of it) and then have a moving company ship what I don't want out here to California to eventually be put in the house I'm going to buy... because it *is* time to buy here, particularly if you've got a secure job - which I do.

So, to that end, I looked at about a half-dozen open houses today. I'm not going to buy way out in Sacramento's burbs; the houses in most of the burbs here, aside from Roseville and Folsom, are, well, crap that was built during the boom. East Sacramento keeps its value, and more importantly, since I will likely always work downtown here, I really don't want to be more than 5-7 miles from work. That's quite bikeable and Sacramento will always have transit service in the core and inner ring suburbs. 

Moreover, there's no reason to be far from work. Time is one of the things in life that you can't buy more of. I've been bouncing back and forth between buying somewhere in East Sac or Land Park, but I think the houses in East Sac are nicer and for some reason it just seems like houses in Land Park cost more and you don't get as much for your buck. I may also look at River Park, although most of that was built in the 70s and the houses that are available often are in desperate need of updating.

The only downside of being in central Sacramento is it doesn't have a really good high school. There is Sac High, which is a magnet program but you have to apply to get in there. There's McClatchy in Land Park - its  OK... Schools are fairly good up to 8th grade, but, after that, most people put their children in one of the private academies if you live in East Sac, River Park or Land Park.

I ran 4 miles this morning. Its too early to tell if my body will hold up, but getting ready for the Parkway Half in 12 weeks does not appear to be out of the question. I know I can finish the distance; if I increase my "long" run in this matter...

W2 - 5
W3 - 5
W4 - 6
W6 - 6
W7 - 7
W8 - 7
W9 - 8
W10 - 9
W11 - 4
W12 - no long run

When I sat my PR in Parkway in '07 in 1:58:12, my longest run was 9 miles beforehand. So I don't get injured again, I'm thinking that if I stick with 4x of running a week, and keep my distances reasonable - with my goal after this coming week of being 3/3/3/long run the first six weeks, then 4/4/4/long run the next six, I'm keeping the distances and the beating on my body down...

I doubt if I'll set another PR... I've been on a year and a half layoff from serious running, period - but I doubt if I'll run my slowest half, either. Its an easy course - you run 6.05 down the American River Parkway bike path - which is paved - and run 6.05 miles back up. Its smooth and nearly all flat. And, if I can tell in a month that I'm not getting in half marathon shape fast enough, I can register for the 5K instead and focus on smacking that into the ground. I can already run 5K!

If I can get down to < 150 from my current weight of 165 that should help as well. Fastest way I know to gain speed in running is to, well, lose weight (same principle applies to cycling, obviously).

I think my biggest issue is going to be losing weight - and not pushing myself too fast too far too early.

back from calistoga

As per usual, Indian Springs was awesome. Did the hot mud bath, which consists of well, getting naked, and laying down in hot mud that sends your heart rate soaring for about 10 minutes or so. After that, you sit in an old fashioned clawed tub (they started building Indian Springs in 1913 - go to http://www.indianspringscalistoga.com if you want to know more about the place) full of cool mineral water,  getting the mud out from under your fingernails and sipping a cup of  ice water that's flavored with cucumbers and lemon. After that, you spend about 10 minutes in eucalyptus infused steam room, shower, put on your robe, and they put cucumbers on your eyes and a cool rag on your head until the massage tech - (the mud bath was free, but I opted for a full session of deep tissue massage) - comes to torture you further.

California is in the midst of the rainiest winter I've been in since arriving in 2007, and it was interesting to float in the big hot pool - they had it cranked up to 102 with the air temps and the rain... while being pelted with cold rain. The Napa Valley was breath taking in the rain and fog, and a couple of the higher peaks had snow on them. As low as the Coastal Ranges are - and as mild as Napa is during winter - I was really surprised to see some snow, but Calistoga is at the northern end of the valley, and the mountain was on the east side, which is the colder side of the valley (the Pacific is to the west). Its amazing how many microclimates California has.

The upside of all of this rain is it fills reservoirs and the snow on the Sierras keeps us in water until next winter. Its been awfully dry the past few years. Also, paradoxically for those of you that live in four season climates, it gets green here in the winter, and the longer/more it rains, the greener it stays into summer (and it also reduces the fire hazard lots).

Now back to the grim reality called work. But the sciatica is better...

nothing much to worry about

lets bring on some serious asskicking

I used to be such a sweet, sweet thing
Till they got a hold of me
I opened doors for little old ladies
I helped the blind to see
I got no friends cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm gettin real shot down
And I'm feeling mean

No more Mister Nice Guy
No more Mister Clean
No more Mister Nice Guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene

I got no friends cause they read the papers
They can't be seen with me
And I'm feelin' real shot down
And I'm gettin' mean

No more Mister Nice Guy
No more Mister Clean
No more Mister Nice Guy
They say he's sick, he's obscene

My dog bit me on the leg today
My cat clawed my eye
Mom's been thrown of the social circles
And Dad had to hide
I went to church incognito
When everybody rose the Reverend Smithy
He recognized me and punched me in the nose

He said, no more Mister Nice Guy
No more Mister Clean
No more Mister Nice Guy
He said you're sick, you're obscene

contemplate this

First person who can tell me what this is gets a virtual $20.

ah to be served

My ex was served for custody of the children today. While it obviously is no longer a secret, I'm not going to discuss online the particulars, except to say this issue is purely between the ex and I and what's in the best interest of the children.

and its jam session Tuesday

Which makes an awesome Tuesday even more awesome.

more

More headbanging music! Its been an awesome Tuesday so far!

a totally unexciting weekend

We have not floated away yet. Watched The Hangover on DVD (thank you Netflix) Friday night. Hilarious. Liked seeing the actor that played the dentist wearing his thick glasses (just like mine). Made me realize I'm not the only goof-ass in the universe.

Rode the spin bike, tried to go have my blood work (annual checkup) done @ Kaiser this morning but the med office(s) labs were closed for the holiday and the lab at Morse was a madhouse, so I figured I'll just fast on Friday night and get in early on Saturday (hopefully Point West will be open Saturday morning).

Next weekend Indian Springs in Calistoga. Ahhh. Hot water.

Two jam sessions this week - one downtown @ Capitol Garage on Tues and @ Oshima Sushi in Natomas on Thurs.

californians: prepare the ark

I moved here in 2007. So I haven't experienced the joy of a Pineapple express - yet.

Here is a copy of the storm alert that was distributed by US Geological Survey/Pacific Science Center:

Currently, the strong El Nino is reaching its peak in the Eastern Pacific, and now finally appears to be exerting an influence on our weather.  The strong jet has been apparent for quite some time out over the open water, but the persistent block had prevented it from reaching the coast.  Now that the block has dissolved completely, a 200+ kt jet is barreling towards us.  Multiple large and powerful storm systems are expected to slam into CA from the west and northwest over the coming two weeks, all riding this extremely powerful jet stream directly into the state.  The jet will itself provide tremendous dynamic lift, in addition to directing numerous disturbances right at the state and supplying them with an ample oceanic moisture source.  The jet will be at quite a low latitude over much of the Pacific, so these storms will be quite cold, at least initially.  

Very heavy rainfall and strong to potentially very strong winds will impact the lower elevations beginning late Sunday and continuing through at least the following Sunday.  This will be the case for the entire state, from (and south of) the Mexican border all the way up to Oregon.  Above 3000-4000 feet, precipitation will be all snow, and since temperatures will be unusually cold for a precipitation event of this magnitude, a truly prodigious amount of snowfall is likely to occur in the mountains, possibly measured in the tens of feet in the Sierra after it's all said and done.  But there's a big and rather threatening caveat to that (discussed below).  Individual storm events are going to be hard to time for at least few more days, since this jet is just about as powerful as they come (on this planet, anyway).  Between this Sunday and the following Sunday, I expect categorical statewide rainfall totals in excess of 3-4 inches.  That is likely to be a huge underestimate for most areas.  Much of NorCal is likely to see 5-10 inches in the lowlands, with 10-20 inches in orographically-favored areas. Most of SoCal will see 3-6 inches at lower elevations, with perhaps triple that amount in favored areas.

This is where things get even more interesting, though.  The models are virtually unanimous in "reloading" the powerful jet stream and forming an additional persistent kink 2000-3000 miles to our southwest after next Sunday.  This is a truly ominous pattern, because it implies the potential for a strong Pineapple-type connection to develop.  Indeed, the 12z GFS now shows copious warm rains falling between days 12 and 16 across the entire state.  Normally, such as scenario out beyond day seven would be dubious at best. Since the models are in such truly remarkable agreement, however, and because of the extremely high potential impact of such an event, it's worth mentioning now. Since there will be a massive volume of freshly-fallen snow (even at relatively low elevations between 3000-5000 feet), even a moderately warm storm event would cause very serious flooding. This situation will have to be monitored closely.  Even if the tropical connection does not develop, expected rains in the coming 7-10 days will likely be sufficient to cause flooding in and of themselves (even in spite of dry antecedent conditions).

In addition to very heavy precipitation, powerful winds may result from very steep pressure gradients associated with the large and deep low pressure centers expect ed to begin approaching the coast by early next week.  Though it's not clear at the moment just how powerful these winds may be, there is certainly the potential for a widespread damaging wind event at some point, and the high Sierra peaks are likely to see gusts in the 100-200 mph range (since the 200kt jet at 200-300 mb will essentially run directly into the mountains at some point).  The details of this will have to be hashed out as the event(s) draw closer.

In short, the next 2-3 weeks (at least) are likely to be more active across California than any other 2-3 week period in recent memory.  The potential exists for a dangerous flood scenario to arise at some point during this interval, especially with the possibility of a heavy rain-on-snow event during late week 2.  In some parts of Southern California, a whole season's worth of rain could fall over the course of 5-10 days.  This is likely to be a rather memorable event. Stay tuned…

this is not greta nor a skinner box

Just my children playing in a cardboard box with their new puppy Sophie.

good god

For a guy that's approaching 50, I really post some weird shit, don't I?

for you people who have recently broken up with someone

Nada Surf is one of those bands nibbling on the edges of college radio...

Three important rules for breaking up
Don't put off breaking up when you know you want to
Prolonging the situation only makes it worse
Tell him honestly simply kindly but firmly
Don't make a big production
Don't make up an elaborate story
This will help you avoid a big tear-jerking scene
If you want to date other people, say so
Be prepared for the boy to feel hurt and rejected
Even if you've gone together for only a short time
And haven't been too serious
There's still a feeling of rejection when somebody says
She prefers the company of others to your exclusive company
But if you're honest and direct
And avoid making a flowery emotional speech
When you break the news
The boy will respect you for your frankness
And honestly, he'll appreciate the kind straight-forward manner
In which you told him your decision
Unless he's a real jerk or a cry-baby you'll remain friends

I'm head of the class (I'm popular)
I'm a quarterback (I'm popular)
My mom says I'm a catch (I'm popular)
I'm never last picked (I'm popular)
I got a cheerleading chick (I'm popular)

Being attractive is the most important thing there is
If you want to catch the biggest fish in your pond
You have to be as attractive as possible
Make sure to keep your hair spotlessly clean
Wash it at least every two weeks
Once every two weeks
And if you see Johnny-Football-Hero in the hall
Tell him he played a great game
Tell him you liked his article in the newspaper

I'm the party star (I'm popular)
I've got my own car (I'm popular)
I'll never get caught (I'm popular)
I'm the teacher's pet (I'm popular)
I make football bets (I'm popular)

I propose we support a one-month limit on going steady
I think it would keep people more able to deal with weird situations
Get to know more people
I think if you're ready to go out with johnny
Now's the time to tell him about your one-month limit
He won't mind
He'll appreciate your fresh look on dating
And once you've dated someone else
You can date him again
I'm sure he'll like it, everyone will appreciate it
You're so novel, what a good idea
You can keep your time to yourself, you don't need date insurance
You can go out with whoever you want to
Every boy, every boy in the whole world could be yours
If you'll just listen to my plan
The teenage guide to popularity

I'm head of the class (I'm popular)
I'm a quarterback (I'm popular)
My mom says I'm a catch (I'm popular)
I'm never last picked (I'm popular)
I got a cheerleading chick (I'm popular)
I'm the party star (I'm popular)
I've got my own car (I'm popular)
I'll never get caught (I'm popular)
I'm the teacher's pet (I'm popular)
I make football bets (I'm popular)

superman's dead

If you play this song over and over on iTunes, sooner or later you'll see all these yellow bloodshot eyes staring at you from the edges of your peripheral vision. Its cool. And it requires no illegal mind altering substances.

do you worry that you're not liked
how long till you break
you're happy cause you smile
but how much can you fake
an ordinary boy an ordinary name
but ordinary's just not good enough today

alone I'm thinking
why is superman dead
is it in my head
we'll just laugh instead
you worry about the weather and
whether or not you should hate

are you worried about your faith
kneel down and obey
you're happy you're in love
you need someone to hate
an ordinary girl an ordinary waist
but ordinary's just not good enough today

doesn't anybody ever know that the
world's a subway...

ambien

+ total, complete exhaustion is a great way to ensure 10 hours of uninterrupted sleep. Apparently I snore like a concrete saw working overtime; enough so that I slept through the shooting at an apartment complex nearby...

The downside of ambien is I usually awake with a mild headache that takes a few hours to dissipate, which makes more wonder how safe this shit is the first place. I love how at the end of all the drug company commercials on TV, they have the big long legal disclaimer... I think they should just have Gilbert Gottfried scream "THIS SHIT CAN KILL YOU!" - and that's it.

You may recognize Gilbert's voice from Disney's "Aladdin" cartoon as the parrot. (WARNING - the following clip is  NSFW or young children... and contains much offensive material. But if you're younger than about 15, and reading this blog, well, your parents should probably break your fingers).

buckethead

Dammit! He stole some of my licks!

can't just stop at 13 posts to date

It would be bad luck, right?

sleep, or lack thereof

Ok... I do not advise trying to operate on 4 hours of sleep as I've tried to do all day. I tend to stay too late at jam session, and I did not get home until 12:30 this morning... and since I wanted to put up an album of pics from the jam, I wasn't in bed until 2... and when the alarm went off at 6, I really did not want to get up.

@ work, I didn't fade out too much but I can tell that the lack of sleep does affect ability to focus and make sense, especially in conversation. I just put the guitar away. I was sitting on the dining room floor, practicing Black Orpheus, and I found myself falling asleep, Chet Atkins-style (he'd play every night in bed until he fell asleep holding his guitar). So I figured I'd try to see if I can actually blog tonight or if I'm just too goddamned tired to make any sense.

After yesterday's trip to the doc to get 'acquainted' with Kaiser, I decided it made more sense to have my primary care doc be closer to the house at Pointe West. I picked a doc that was born in Taiwan, grew up in Brazil, where he went to med school, and he's also learned and taught acupuncture in addition to Western medicine, meditates and has a family. The perfect doc for me, because I want to try a more holistic approach to taking care of myself than I've used in the past.

Capitol Garage 1.12.10

tuesday night jam session madness... a very outside version of Blue Bossa + a Bb blues. great fun!

The entire album is here...

Rocking... er jazzing... er fusioning out the Jet King 2.

yes, this is cruel

still, I find it amusing.

mom and dad update for you "old" and new people

Those of you who may have followed my blogging exploits from Beginner Triathlete (where I found that I really suck as an amateur athlete, but I'm a pretty good writer of pointless blog shit, and I was one of the Top 20 most viewed blogs on there. It was hard to leave, but, let's just simply say I  had serious personal issues that got me interested in triathlon for the wrong reasons. Too much pressure and why put pressure on yourself if you suck at something and will continue to suck no matter how much effort you put in and you're not having a damn bit of fun - but, there are some super de dooper people on BT, too) to Facebook (whose Notes function really sucks mole rat dick and isn't nearly as good as the blogging function marma has built into BT...

btw, this is a mole rat)

May be aware that I lost my Dad to a stroke caused by decades of congestive heart failure in June (he was 75), and two weeks later, Mom was diagnosed with Stage IV lung cancer. She tried therapy to stave off the inevitable, but her immune system just wasn't up to it, and she passed on New Year's Eve.

Although Dad died partially paralyzed and unable to talk because of the stroke, he died in his sleep - with dignity - and on his own terms. He did not want to linger on disabled, not in his home, and on some form of life support. Mom also went out on her own terms - in no pain, peacefully, in her sleep, in her own home and surrounded by friends and relatives. In fact, she woke up and asked for water about 20 minutes before she died.

In both cases, I arrived from California the day before each of them died. Mom was still cognizant and able to speak when I arrived, but declined quickly after that. She bled out from the cancer most likely attacking her internal organs (it had spread from her lungs to her spine and the back of her skull).

I'm the only child and heir (not that this is terribly important, merely a point of information) and I'll write more about how I feel about the entire situation later, because, between that, dealing with the fallout of my 2nd divorce in '08, moving to California, and having my 10 and 8 year olds move to Connecticut with their mother last fall - well, sportsfans, I have a lot of fresh steamy lifeshit on my plate to deal with. But, strangely, with their passing - while I am sad, and I will miss them terribly - I feel relieved. A tremendous burden has been lifted from my shoulders.

dillweed? i'll show you!

This morning's first text insult...

"dillweed"

Response:

"magic nose goblin collector"

it will likely go downhill from there.

(and... admit it. we've all wiped at least one super gooey, juicy booger underneath our seat in school... or during a really boring staff meeting. its gotta be gooey or it won't stick).

far cheaper than psychotropic meds

This is a vintage Hawaiian "Happy Man" charm - from the 1970s - that The Blonde let me "borrow". You wear it around your neck... she gave it to me shortly before I flew back to Dante's Inferno Iowa for Mom's death process.

And I'll tell you, I've been happier than a pig in shit since I put this darn thing on. She can't remember where it came from, except when she was in Hawaii as a teen "my parents got it for me because I was being a real brat."

Tiger sharks

An amazing photo of a tiger shark stalking its prey...

Yeah, that's right

Whoever worked me over in my sleep with a 2x4 last night, I'm going to find those bastards. Mark my words.

Texting is so much fun

The dog is going psycho. But that's not the point of the moment.

My best friend - male - on the entire planet lives in freeze-your-nuts-and-other-delicate-parts-at-the-moment-Des-Moines-IA. Since I am an only child, I never had a brother or sister to harrass, short-sheet their bed, or leave fresh dog poo in their backpack. You know, good clean fun. The kind that would likely be featured on the 700 Club as an example of good old-fashioned American Motherhood and God Fearin' Apple Pie flag waving approved child activity.

But he and I have do have texting. So, we spend the entire day trading insults. I just reminded him, since he's going to bed (he has to be up at 5:00 am tomorrow) that he should put on a fresh adult diaper.

Say "Awwwww".

Come on, admit it. This makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

Its Almost As Good As Being There

University of Iowa campus webcam

The Original Was Much Better

Memorable quotes for The Longest Yard (1974)

Caretaker: Most of these old boys don't have nothing. Never had nothing to start with. But you, You had it all. Then you let your teammates down, got yourself caught with your hand in the cookie jar.

Paul Crewe: Oh I did, did I?

Caretaker: Oh I ain't saying you did or you didn't. All I'm saying is that you could have robbed banks, sold dope or stole your grandmother's pension checks and none of us would have minded. But shaving points off of a football game, man that's un-American.

---

Paul Crewe: You take your football down here real serious, don't you?

Caretaker: You mind if I ask you one question?

Paul Crewe: Yes, I do mind!

Caretaker: Why did you do it?

Paul Crewe: It's a long story.

Caretaker: Well, I got eight years.

---

Paul Crewe: Hey Pop, the time you hit Hazen in the mouth, was it worth 30 years?

Pop: For me it was.

Paul Crewe: Then give me my damn shoe!

---

Paul Crewe: My, you have lovely hair. You ever find any spiders in it?

---

Paul Crewe: What's his name?

Caretaker: Indian.

Paul Crewe: That makes sense.

Caretaker: Now don't go making any ethnic jokes.

[They meet the Indian]

Paul Crewe: Paul Crewe. Heard you played some football.

The Indian: Yeah.

Paul Crewe: Where?

The Indian: Oklahoma State.

Paul Crewe: Oklahoma State U?

The Indian: Prison.

Paul Crewe: Well, first thing we have to do is get you out of here.

The Indian: How?

[Paul looks back at Caretaker]

Paul Crewe: Well, we'll work on it.

---

Paul Crewe: The most important thing to remember is: to protect your quarterback - ME!

---

Police Officer: Why'd you drive her car into the bay?

Paul Crewe: Couldn't find a car wash.

---

[last lines]

Paul Crewe: [to the warden] Stick this in your trophy case.

[he walks into the stadium tunnel]

Trainer: I knew you could do it!

---

Captain Knauer: [giving the rifle to Hazen] Game ball!

---

Paul Crewe: Nate, if you're thinkin' about winning this game, you're as crazy as he is!

Nate Scarboro: Well maybe so, but you spend fourteen years in this tank, and you begin to understand that you've only got two things left they can't sweat out of you or beat out of you - your balls - and you better hang onto them because they're about the only thing you're gonna have when you get out of here.

---

Crewe: [looking at a shirtless Shokner doing some unusual physical moves] What's he doin' now?

Caretaker: Nobody's ever had the guts to ask him.

---

Paul Crewe: You know, there's only one thing I'm sorry about.

Warden Hazen: What's that, Mr. Crewe?

Paul Crewe: That you're not out here with us knockin' heads.

Warden Hazen: I'm afraid I'm a little old for that.

Paul Crewe: No, you never had the guts to begin with!

---

Walking Boss: [after the game] Fuck you, boy!

Crewe: Not today, boss!

---

Paul Crewe: [Drunkenly as a short policeman comes to arrest him] Look what we have here - a miniature cop!

---

[Caretaker and Crewe are watching a prisoner go through his workout]

Caretaker: Well, there he is. Connie Shokner, baddest cat in the joint. Even the guards are scared of him. He killed three people on the outside and two since he's been in here.

Crewe: Yeah, that karate's some bad stuff.

Caretaker: Oh, that was before he learned karate.

Crewe: Say, what's he doing now?

Caretaker: Nobody's ever had the guts to ask him.

---

Samson: I think I broke his fuckin' neck!

Announcer: I think he broke his fuckin' neck!

Team doctor: One side, one side.

[Examines injured player]

Team doctor: Get the ambulance! I think he broke his fuckin' neck.

Samson: See! I told you I broke his fuckin' neck!

---

Caretaker: Now to me, that's biscuits and gravy.

---

Warden Hazen: How do you think we'd do against the pros?

Paul Crewe: That team against the pros?

Warden Hazen: Yeah.

Paul Crewe: Well, you'd have a real problem.

Warden Hazen: Well, how do you think we'd do against the cons?

---

Paul Crewe: Whattya got for me, Sunshine?

Caretaker: I can get you steroids, vitamins, greenies, anything you want. You name it. I'm the best hustler in the joint.

Paul Crewe: How much of what this guy says he can do, can he do?

Nate Scarboro: He can get you laid in here... with a woman.

---

Paul Crewe: We're gettin' up a football game against the guards. Wondered if maybe you and some of your buddies here would like to join in on the fun.

Samson: With the guards?

Paul Crewe: Uh huh.

Samson: Sure, I'd like that.

---

Paul Crewe: Nate, if you're thinking about winning this game, then you're as crazy as he is.

Nate Scarboro: Well, maybe so. But you spend fourteen years in this tank, you begin to understand that you've only got two thing left they can't sweat out of you or beat out of you. Your balls. And you better hang onto them, because they're about the only thing you're gonna have when you get out of here.

---

Granville: Alright men, now here's the play we're gonna use. I don't think the guards know this formation. It's called 'incidental punishment after the ball is blown dead.' Remember, any man you tackle gets an elbow, knee, or kick in the mouth.

---

Bogdanski: What the hell was that?

Paul Crewe: That was a dropkick.

Bogdanski: Dropkick?

Paul Crewe: Dropkick.

Bogdanski: How much is that worth?

Paul Crewe: Three points.

Bogdanski: Three points?

Paul Crewe: Three points.

Bogdanski: For that? Bullshit!

---

Paul Crewe: You know what my problem has been all my life? I've always had my shit together. Always. My problem's been I couldn't lift it.

---

Assistant Warden: Hissss-toe-ree.

---

Unger: How do ya like them apples, Superstar?

---

Bogdanski: I'll see ya on the field, Superstar.

---

[first lines]

Melissa: How long do we have to keep watching this crap?... Only a moron can sit and watch two football games, one after the other.

---

Captain Knauer: Dammit, Warden, I think this game's a big mistake.

Warden Hazen: Captain, not only will you have the chance to hone our team to a fine edge, you'll also have the opportunity to learn a great deal about life. Why is it, do you suppose, that I can walk through this yard, surrounded by hate, and in total command?

Captain Knauer: Because you've got 15 gun turrets all around you that say you can.

---

Paul Crewe: For Nate, for Granny... for Caretaker.

---

[the Black Inmates are gathered together talking about the football tryouts]

Black Inmate 1: [about Crewe] This Honky golden boy sold out his teammates, didn't he!

Black Inmate 2: He sure as hell did!

Black Inmate 1: He did it once, he'll do it again!

Black Inmate 2: [All the Black Inmates Respond in unison with Black Power Fist] RIGHT ON!

---

Mawabe: [after Black Inmates join team] Well Mr. Crewe, Were in business, Compliments from the greater Chicago Youth Authority.

Granville: There goes the neighborhood!

[All the inmates laugh]

For you new people

Yes, its one of my favorite scenes from 1997's Starship Troopers...

[Ace is having difficulty with throwing knives]

Ace Levy: Sir, I don't understand. What goods' a knife in a nuke fight? All you have to do is press a button, sir.

Career Sergeant Zim: Put your hand on that wall trooper. PUT YOUR HAND ON THAT WALL!

[Zim throws a knife and hits Ace's hand pinning it to the wall]

Career Sergeant Zim: The enemy can not press a button... if you have disabled his hand. Medic!

So, you've found Greta In The Box. What *is* Greta In The Box, anyway?

Well, its not some kind of sick joke. As noted in the description for this blog, its a creative project that involves music, writing, commentary, and just about anything that will fit in the weird little universe that's inside my head.  Sometimes, all GITB will be is this blog, with writing as I see fit being the primary content. Sometimes, GITB will perform in public, from anything from a solo to a group, and the type of music - well, its whatever fits the moment.

As someone who's been playing guitar 34 years and has finally come to terms that I'm a fusion guitarist - with a day job - and that its not really important for me to make money doing this, but having fun with other musicians, maybe entertaining the people who choose to listen, and hopefully growing as a person in the process, and helping other people grow as well.

I don't consider myself a 'great' player - there are so many guitarists out there, at different levels, that its really ridiculous to argue that "Guitarist X is better than Guitarist Y" but instead to appreciate every single player as being unique in their own way. I play like... well, myself, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

The "band" exists whenever I want it to exist... some might think this is a hobby... and it probably is... but I also think its more important to just BE an artist and everything else happens.

The name for this blog/music project/whateverelse comes from The Blonde, whom I assist in dogsitting a friendly German wirehaired pointer named Greta when her owners are out of town. Now, not only does Greta's house have a pool, she also has an elaborate doghouse. Which she sulks in when her owners are gone... and The Blonde calls this behavior "Greta In The Box".  I thought this would be a fantastic band name, if I ever get a real band together, man.

So here we are, and when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.